Reasons I Miss My Mother: Watching the Original
Star Trek Pilot
by Shana Wolstein

The first number one was a moody brunette
In a flawed pilot that got Spock all wrong.
Aliens with a human zoo and a steely-
Eyed captain who refuses to play Adam and triggers
The murder of his potential Eve. Maybe a simple
Lilith would have succeeded, against the villain
Who dominates with manipulation.

Mom, were you aware of the rebellion? The resistance?
My sister will walk on Washington, without me,
But for me also and you. The knitted pink pussy
Hats, cat ears for protest, don't feel too dissimilar from Spock ears.

Conditioning is punishment, control, did you love this
Because you saw it too? That dream of a future
Where a moody brunette can lead, even only
Identified by status: number one. I'm sure she has
A name, a cult following. But this captain is tempted
To dream by his mother's picnic food and a horse.

To be home in the Mojave. That's bizarre,
This written memory parallel slides into the reality of
Televised entertainment. Funny that we call it streaming,
That we watch natural movement become projected
Into technical description. Connected.
Shana Wolstein holds an MFA in creative writing from Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo, where she still lives with her husband. She is the co-host of several podcasts featuring critical discussions of Doctor Who, Steven Universe, Firefly and other pop culture media. She is also a semi-regular contributor at Eruditorum Press.
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About barkingsycamores 183 Articles
Barking Sycamores is a literary journal entirely edited and operated by queer neurodivergent people of color. We publish poetry, artwork, short fiction (beginning with Issue 3), creative nonfiction (beginning with Issue 8), and hybrid genre work (beginning with Issue 9) by emerging and established neurodivergent writers as well as essays on neurodiversity and literature and book reviews (beginning with Issue 10).

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