ONES AND EVENS, Ndabenhle S. Mthembu

Ones and Evens
by Ndabenhle S. Mthembu

Hair the style of Samson
I’m twenty-one
Beard coming in on my left side
In patches, empty lighter switch to matches
Remember those lonely nights
Bottles of wine, blurred beating walls and porn sites
Sigh
So count all those sleepless
O’ how well those pills mixed
With those fleeting moods
How those highs turned blue
Forgetfulness pairs well with no remorse and ungratefulness
It seems so seamless what seems best scars or calluses
Is this a popularity contest or just callousness
O’ I’m just kidding

Wish I were a little blind to the competition
Because there’s no comparison
What are we comparing now denominations
In the church of art
It’s not by the cut of the talk 
It’s by the cut of the craft
In the church of art who are the immortals now
Did they ever want to be immortalised or be immortal
for a couple minutes in a mortal’s eyes
Always and already lost in time as
the first manic thoughts of a child
And I’m that child still
Understanding that happiness sometimes vacillates a little less
I lay awake and play with ink tinkering with this to death
Like the replay of fictional conversations
Feelings from these unconscious places
Within Love’s limbo I’m all in and neutral
because sometimes it’s all equally meaningful 
Ndabenhle S. Mthembu is a creative writer and blogger form Newcastle, South Africa, and has not been previously published in an official publication. He is currently studying to become a Clinical Psychologist and he has been writing poetry since the age of fifteen.
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About barkingsycamores 51 Articles
Barking Sycamores is a literary journal entirely edited and operated by queer neurodivergent people of color. We publish poetry, artwork, short fiction (beginning with Issue 3), creative nonfiction (beginning with Issue 8), and hybrid genre work (beginning with Issue 9) by emerging and established neurodivergent writers as well as essays on neurodiversity and literature and book reviews (beginning with Issue 10).

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